Want To Be Glad You’re Single?

27 Mar

It’s thursday ladies and gentlemen and we could all probably use a little pick-me-up right now to get us through to Friday and the weekend.

You may be stressed approaching yet another Friday night with no plans, or a weekend of figuring out what to do because, holy cow, you just want go on a date and have it not end in disaster and make you want to change your phone number and locks.

Maybe you are going on a blind date, a first date, or out to the bars…

Whatever state you find yourself in on this rainy (in Texas) Thursday morning, here’s a little something to make your single life a little brighter.

You may thank me with contributions of good vibes and cake pops should you be in the area. =)

xo KB

 

11 Engagement Photos That Will Make You Happy You’re Single! 

horrible engagement

This Is A Test Of Your Local Dating System…

26 Mar

After yesterday’s post I started wondering what about my profile screams, “Welcome, crazy folks and all ye the conversationally impaired!”

The truth that we all know is that it’s likely that the vast majority of these individuals never get past my picture (Oh dear God… it’s my face that invites them… Can. Of. Worms.) to read my actual profile or know much of anything about me.

With that in mind maybe the better question here is what is my profile not saying, because it seems to me that somewhere in that neck of the woods lies the answer to why I’m not getting noticed by the kinds of guys I want to talk to, meet, etc.

I looked my profile over and all I could determine was that it was pretty basic, straight forward, and maybe a lacking in personality. But you have to be so careful with putting personality into those kinds of profiles because it can be taken so much the wrong way. I think the problem for me is that when I try to translate my personality into a dating profile, I look back at it and think, “Oh, hell. I have over sold.” or something along those lines. I just have a hard time getting myself into that format and not having the profile me seem (in my own head) like a huge contrast to the reality.

It doesn’t really make sense to me that I can write all day and all night about other things, but when it comes to a dating profile I sound like a buffoon.

This made the solution clear.

I should have someone else write my profile.

I should have a man write it!

It would be like translating me into guy language. Great.

So I went to work, and by that I mean to say that I roped my good friend, who knows me very well, into re-writing my answers to the profile questions.

I think it was kind of genius, compare-

My original answer to “My Self-Summary

I’m a writer/nanny/youth director, I enjoy good conversation, tea, and books. I like grown-up men who know what they want in life and in their relationships.

All true…

His translation, however-

I like grown-up men who know what they want from life and relationships. I’m not defined by my job, but I pay my bills as a nanny. I enjoy tea, books and the good conversations they cultivate. I am the shortest force of nature you’ve ever seen. I am rarely still. There’s too much to do and I need too much sleep to waste the waking hours to trivialities. Wear comfortable shoes if you want to keep up.

Also all true, but MUCH more reflective of my personality.

I started to go all, “Oh crap, he’s just a better writer than I am.” but then it occurred to me that if I were writing the profile for someone else it would probably sound similar. Especially if I were writing for someone of the opposite sex. I would write about the things that stand out to me, and not just the facts.

So now we wait.

We wait to see what kind of difference, if any, this makes… and I’m certain that it will make some kind of difference.

If you would like to join me in this little experiment, please, by all means, steal this idea, run your test and then lets discuss our outcomes.

xo KB

Is There Hope?

25 Mar

I keep saying that I’m going to quit OKCupid… because I mean, if you’ve used it (or any online dating site) you know. You just know.

Yesterday I’d shared a particularly odd message I had received and in response my friend said,

“Everyone. Where. You. Live. Is. Crazy.”

Which, feels true.

I have NO IDIA if everyone gets messages quite as odd, or if there are just a special few of us that for reasons beyond our control are a magnet for the strange and impossible to comprehend. I thought I would post some of my favorite messages here and see if anyone can agree that the people in their area are just as crazy, or that this is an issue isolated to the greater Austin area. So, without further ado–

(Keep in mind these are opening statements)

“I survived last night, which means I am alive. I’ll be honest with you. I needed to talk to someone. I actually drank last night for the first time in over 4 months, and it was horrible, which is why I don’t drink. Anyways, I’m alive today which is a good thing. I called in to work 2 days in a row, which I am a little nervous about, but I’ll try and smooth things over tomorrow and feel better about it. How are you doing? BTW you have crazy awesome eyes, very pretty. =) “

“Yeah, I’m not very good at sleeping.”

“Do you believe in sex before marriage?

“Let’s make out already!”

“Hello again?”

“I like UR eyes”

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to report your profile if you continue to send me such illicit messages. ;)” (and then he must have reconsidered my level of intelligence and sent it a second time with an edit) “I’m going to have to report your profile if you continue to send me such naughty messages. ;)”

“I love you.”

“I. Just. Want. Someone. To. Love. Me.”

“I’d like to know what kind of issues do we have?”

“Wish I was your lover charming pretty lady named Katie!”

Once Upon A Time…

20 Mar

… And by that I mean yesterday, I was waiting for a guy to text me.

It’s the first time in a good while that I’m excited about a guy texting me… almost too excited. And then he didn’t.

Facts: 

  • He has a grown up job that is actually physically strenuous and I knew him to be working late yesterday.
  • He’s also a grown man with a life and we’ve known each other for a total of three days.
  • In the real world it is TOTALLY normal for people who have just met (or have even know one another a good length of time) not to talk every single day.
  • My understanding of the last point is a bit warped.

And here’s why…

I am a person who, through no merit of my own entirely, has managed to have very long-lasting relationships. I don’t mean romantic relationships specifically, just relationships in general. I still have good connections and even some very close relationships with people I have known my entire life. I’m serious, we were in diapers together and we still each other on an above average regular basis. I also have the type of relationship with my siblings that some of us see each other almost everyday, and those of us who don’t we talk pretty often. One of my best friends, who is not a since-we-were-in-diapers friend is still a 15+ year friendship. That’s pretty significant as friendships go.

I’m quite used to knowing people around me well and being well known myself. That sentence makes me sound like I should have paparazzi, but I don’t.

Trust me, there are many good things about having the kind of relationships where you can trust that you are being understood, and you know that you don’t have to divulge your past because your friends were a part of it, they were there. It’s also nice to have people you see all of the time, nothing inherently wrong with that.

However, it does present its own set of challenges when it comes to dating, I have found. The “getting to know you” phase has always been something I’ve heard people talk about fondly, they think it’s fun and exciting, but I have often found it tedious and uncomfortable.

I am out of practice letting someone get to know me. I’m also out of practice getting to know other people as well.

I have to work at remember to ask the right questions and being open to answer the questions another person asks and not feeling hostile towards the process because it feels a little scary letting a relative strange into my world. I’m not saying that it isn’t fun work when I get into, just that I have to remember it’s work I have to do because of the life and relationships I’ve had. Once I take a deep breath and choose to relax about it, it’s kind of nice having someone not predicting what I am about to do because they know what I always do. It’s also a pleasant experience having someone not know thirty-three year old me through the lens of ten, eighteen, and twenty-five year old me.

I also have to remember that not talking to someone for a day or even two or three when I’ve only just met them doesn’t necessarily have any bearings on whether or not they are attracted to me. In fact, it’s probably perfectly ok for everyone else I know too.

If you even date Katie Brown I apologize in advance… you may blame Facebook if you’d like, that seems to be the thing to do these days.

Until next time I’ll be waiting p a t i e n t l y (or at least trying to) for texts.

x0KB

Me and 33

17 Mar

Dear Gentlemen of the Greater Austin Area,

We need to talk. I know that over the past year I have been fickle. I have been dealing with feelings, you know those things that creep up sometimes and bite us all in the ass? Yeah, I’ve been dealing with those for someone else. Someone who isn’t you.

I know that I haven’t been the best company while all of those feelings have been finding their footing.

I know I have sometimes been like a storm cloud.

The thing is that I needed that time and I needed to deal with those feelings, but now 33 is here and I’m not saying that my clock is ticking, I’m not saying that. I’m not suddenly in a rush because I’m afraid of my age. Nope.

What I am saying is that I feel like me at 33, maybe for the first time ever in my entire life. Do I want to be skinnier, sure. Who doesn’t? Do I wish that what I was made to do paid a little more, ok, yeah, that would be awesome.

I’m great though. Just like I am.

I’m talented, I can talk for hours, I have a great working mind that comes up with awesome ideas and I have the energy to see those ideas come to life. I am passionate, caring, I love children and I know how to talk to teenagers. I can cook… some stuff. I enjoy laughing and relating and the process of building relationships. I’m strong and will fight for you when you need me to. I am determined like no other, I can be funny (most often when I don’t need to be), and I do laundry even though I hate it.  I am worth knowing. I am!!! And I want you to want to date me.

Sure this might sound desperate and who knows, most of you are probably judging me right now, but I don’t even care, not really. I would make a great teammate and I know someone out there needs me in their corner as much as I need him in mine.

So if you are this guy, or maybe you know him, my email address is k8trix@gmail.com, make a move.

x0 KB

The Facts On Friday: There Was This One Guy…

14 Mar

Dear Daters of all ages, shapes and sizes,

This week I witnessed a crime! With my own eyes I watched someone sabotage their own love life… and that person  was me. 

I am guilty… of comparing men to all of the train wrecks that have come before them.

Sounds innocent enough, right? Well, folks it’s not.

Guys and dolls the fact is that comparison sucks no matter how you slice it, even if you come out with the upper hand.

Trust me, the temptation is real…

You want to tell that one fella that stands out in the crowd, “Hey, I have slogged through so many guys who didn’t have their sh*t together, who seemed sane and then really weren’t, who had crazy obsessions with famous people, and TMIed all over our first date, but I can clearly see you are NOT one of those guys and it’s so refreshing and makes me feel hopeful!”

We can’t really be blamed for our enthusiasm, people, but we aren’t doing ourselves any favors because all that tells the person on the other end is, “You are one step up from the guy who googled me while I was still on the phone with him.”

I don’t want to be that girl who looks awesome in a line-up of women who have been off their rockers.

I just want to be that girl who looks awesome. Period. So I can’t blame guys for not wanting to be that dude either.

I’ll do the time for my crime– I’ll look for ways to engage gentlemen based on who they are and not who everyone else has been, which will require actually paying attention to who they are and let them know that I think they’re swell based on their own merit and not because they come out looking  like a shiny new penny in a jar full of old, smelly ones.

xo KB

[Note: this does not mean I wont continue to talk about the crazies here, no worry loves.]

 

Ooohh So THAT’S What It Is…

10 Mar